We're researching for our next book, which will be written by
Claudette
Betterridge
I’ve been pondering on this idea of ‘Mother Guilt’ for ages now
(about 4 and a half years really) and the more I have spoken to
other mums, the more I think there is something in it, so I am in
the research stages of writing a book on the subject and think
perhaps there is also a need for seminars and workshops to tackle
this subject.
Something interesting I have stumbled upon while delving into the
guilt surrounding motherhood is the notion that so many people seem
to have ‘lost themselves’ through having a family and so many mums
in particular struggle to assimilate their original self with their
new roles. I’m thinking that the lack of time Mums afford
themselves over a long period and a distinct lack of middle-line
support for these issues results in generations of guilt-ridden
women who although they love their families and most of the tasks
they perform to manage them, they still find that there is
something missing in their lives.
Following on from this, it seems such a large number of people
suffer from depression, anxiety and a lack of self esteem. It seems
to me that all of these things lead to a drain on the health care
system, which neither it nor the individual can really afford,
dependence on external coping mechanisms like drugs and alcohol and
huge divorce rates.
It seems that Mums help each other out a heck of a lot and that’s
tremendously important but once we’ve used up the skills we learn
by default and through our social networks (and they no longer work
on our ever-changing children and lives and feelings of
dissatisfaction), the only other help is when things get so
desperate we seek professional help from Counsellors, Psychologists
and Psychiatrists.
There just seems to be no middle-line aimed primarily at Mums and
it would seem (in my research so far anyway) that there are an
awful lot of people out there who forgo seeking help from the
top-line because of the stigma attached to it. So I guess what I'm
starting to do is provide that middle-line in the form of (firstly)
a pair of books on the subject (entitled 'Guilty Stories' and
'Overcoming Motherguilt'), possibly to be followed by seminars and
workshops aimed (to begin with at least) at Mums doing it tough in
the suburban trenches (cause that’s where my experience lies).
While spending a lot of time on the debilitating effects of Mother
Guilt, I hope to look at it all in a more positive light and focus
on strategies for dealing with it and provide readers/participants
with a toolkit they can carry with them for as long as they see fit
– and just have a really fun time while helping m/others.
I am putting the call out for anyone with 'Motherguilt' experiences
to contribute to my first book 'Overcoming Motherguilt'. I am
hoping for honest accounts of everyday experiences that rouse the
guilt within or ways you have found to deal with these feelings
when they arise. It is my belief that a problem shared is a problem
halved and I know from experience that while sometimes a story may
be hard to tell, it can bring immense relief to others to know that
they are not alone.
Contributions need not be long and may remain anonymous. If you
would like to send me your story or have any further questions you
can comment here or email me on
motherguilt@live.com.au Claudette
