Before I became a mother

For me becoming a mother was something I had always dreamed about, I had always loved children and babies and they seemed to like me too. When my sister had her first child I would visit her every day helping out where I could, so naturally when I fell pregnant with my first child a couple of years later I thought it would be a breeze.
Each week of my pregnancy I would read about my growing’s baby’s development, when we were growing fingers and toes, what size the baby was, how much weight I should have gained. I also spent a lot of time reading and thinking about the birth, especially all of the different techniques, going to Yoga, creating the perfect blend of essential oils and the best mixed tape (pre ipod days!) and I remember everyone had a birth horror story to tell.
But I never really thought about what life would be like after that miraculous day. After all, I had baby sat a few times and babies liked me, how hard could it be. Well I was in for the shock of my life. The birth went great, 12 hours and a few stiches but compared to the stories I’d filled my head with it was a breeze and I had the perfect baby, or so I thought, she breastfeed well and slept for 4 to 5 hours in between feeds and all was well. But then at 6 weeks she woke up and suddenly I didn’t know what to do.
She started waking up every hour throughout the night and day, suddenly it felt like I didn’t have enough milk because she was feeding all day long, the sleep deprivation was really kicking in, we were driving around at midnight trying to put her back to sleep, the novelty of the new baby had worn off with my family and friends and my husband had gone back to work, so I was on my own with the baby for at least 12 hours a day and this seemed like forever. Every time I prepared something to eat or tried to have a shower or use the ladies she seemed to wake up and I really stopped looking after myself. My husband had this expectation that I was at home all day having a lovely time so he should be coming home to a tidy house with the dinner cooked and a happy wife and baby (which was not the case at all!). I had no strategies for how to handle any of these situations and for the majority of the time I felt quite helpless.
I had always imagined this would be the best time of my life and there were so many great moments but it was tough at times too and I wondered why no one had talked about this, why there were courses about birth but nothing about actually raising your baby, My mum was great but she worked full time and hadn’t had a baby for 20 years so her suggestions of help weren’t always that useful (sorry mum) So I started to write down the things I wish someone had told me just simple things that mostly would have helped prepare me to prepare for life with a newborn. Things like:
• Make the most of your pre baby life when you’re pregnant and realise your life is going to change, you are not going to be able to take the baby to the movies and go out with your babyless friends every night!
• Sleep whenever you can and don’t worry about folding the washing
• Talk to your husband before the baby is born about the responsibilities of caring for a baby and what each of your roles will be.
• That time’s will get tough but it’s ok, in fact that’s normal.
• And most importantly to look after yourself and that sometimes this means asking other people to help, but as they say ‘Your Worth It’ and it’s really important.
Six years later I now also have a little boy who is four and my wonderful daughter is six and most of the time I feel like a pretty good mum. My sister and I wanted to help other mothers so we have collected these little tips and put them into a beautiful book which we hope will help make the experience of becoming a mother a little easier and that maybe the photos will make them smile and remind them on bad days why we all do this. Because having children is the most wonderful, loving and amazing thing any of us will do.

I'd love to hear your thoughts about becoming a mother and how it has changed your life...